The 5 mistakes we make as Strong Women that give away our power.

This humble post comes from my own looking in the. mirror as a strong independent women, mother, entrepreneur, friend, and partner as an adult for over 40 years. I realize that I am no different than any other strong independent women leader who I am a fierce admirer of. But it is time we own our stuff. Being strong is awesome until its not and no longer serves us. Remember, that an overdone strength (being strong) can becomes our greatest weakness.

1. The first mistake I realize I make is that I am strong to a fault, I dont readily accept help or seldom ask for it. I buck up and do it. Independent. Whatever it is that needs to be done. Or worse yet do it with resentment. This is not helpful at all.

   Instead it is important to learn how to ask for help when we truly need it or more simply, want it! Not from a victim place but from a place of community, of friendship, partnership (work or personal),

2. I take charge of most everything both at home and at work. This behavior leaves little room for others to step in be a leader too. They can sit back, then we get annoyed about the work ethic of those around us.

   I realize that I can relax and give space for others to show up, to lead, to lean in, to do their part. Relaxing is not a stance I know well.. I’m looking forward to getting to know her better! I’m noticing that the world will not fall apart if I relax.

3. I’m competitive with myself. I have also noticed that my fellow strong women can be very competitive with each other. This is not helpful and it separates us.
   By being less competitive and more cooperative we create community and this to me, is one of my most cherished things in my life, the community I have created local and far and wide. My competitive nature has given way to much more collaboration over the years and I have a sense there is more collaboration in my future.

4. My fix-it nature, as a single mom over the years I have found myself needing to be both nurturer and fixer… and that ‘habit’ does not always serve well.

   People need to so much more be nurtured, what this means to me is to more often than not be with the person in their pain. Not to fix it not change it, not take it on but to BE with them in their experience, be with them.

5. Leading. I’m a huge advocate of leading, but not when we abandon our own hearts while leading. The mistake we make as strong women is leading and abandoning our hearts. This leaves out a whole lot of information that actually informs our leadership.
   So leading is fine as long as we bring our hearts along for the journey too. There is a deep place and important place for love in leadership. I believe as our (old) podcast is entitled: Lead with Love.

I’m an advocate of women, strong women, bold women, but we must know that our best selves are when we show up in our soft power. The place that is strong yet our own hearts are not abandoned. For strong women, this is not always comforable but I belive it is our deepest, truest version of being a women in this world and it is here we have the greatest impact and influence.