Love, with Lobsters.
Meet Stacey Roese.
He taught me a few valuable lessons on two different days of my life that I will never forget and always be grateful for. I was 16 years old. I spent a good part of the summer at this families home, they were family friends of many years, and my parents where going through their divorce at the time. So off to the Roese family I went. They lived on Long Island NY at the time and my family lived in upstate NY. We used to be neighbors, but we moved away. I however always choose to stay in touch, they were my second family, in my mind. So at age 16 I wanted to visit them. I stayed for 6 weeks… we would go to Montauk (heaven on Earth) each weekend as a family of 6 but the last week we stayed for a week. Two parents (Jackie and Stacey) and their 3 kids and I was the 4th tag along.
Stacey worked all week but on weekends, he fished. He loved fishing. He’d get up at 3:00am and quietly leave the one room beach cottage we all slept in and off to catch the fish of the day he’d go. I explained to him that I wanted to catch a lobster. Without saying a word, a few days later, he set me up. He said: “Hey Kid” (He called all of us kid, I think it was easier than remembering our names), “Let’s go down to the dock and set up the lobster pot.” I was thrilled. He had a large wooden lobster pot that he tied to a long rope and tied it off to the dock. He said to me: “Your in charge of this, kid. You need to check it every day. Check to see if you caught a lobster.” I was the kind of kid that you give me this important responsibility and I took to to heart and did my part. I checked that pot at least once per day. I’d go down to the dock and pull on that rope and pull and pull until I could get it on the dock. This was no easy task for skinny, scrawny me. I was probably 95 pounds at most. And when the pot was at the bottom it was heavy. But I never missed doing my work, my part. I did this for days… every day. Empty. Nothin’ in it. It was getting close to our last day there when my mother and sister would be arriving to come for an overnight and take me home. I was beginning to think, I would not catch my lobster.
That last day my mother and sister were due to arrive. I went down to the dock one more time. But this time something was different. Normally I could lift the pot up. But today I could not. I called to Stacey who was far away at the end of the dock: “Stacey!! I need help, it’s stuck! I can’t lift it.” He curiously came over to see what as going on. We lifted it together. It was heavy. As the pot got closer to the top of the water, I could feel my eyes getting bigger and bigger. I could not believe what I was seeing.
I could not count all the lobsters in the pot!! It was chock full! As I got a closer look, I realized that there were bands on the claws?! I said, ‘Stacey, why do these lobsters have bands on??? He calmly replied, “I don’t know kid.” He helped me take the lobsters out of pot and we started counting… one, two, three, four…. five, six…. seven, eight! Eight lobsters.!? JACK POT!! I was so excited!!
I quickly realized, there were 8 of us for dinner that night!?!?!? ‘PERFECT!’ I thought!
A little bit later, Stacey came over to me and told me that he heard from one of his fishing buddies that the shoot on a lobster boat broke that night and many lobsters fell back into the water…. which was why my lobsters had bands on them. Ahhh all made perfect sense to me! I was a lucky girl!
8 of us enjoyed every bite of lobster that night. Especially me.
Lessons learned that day:
Always have a vision. (catch a lobster in lobster pot in the ocean)
Work toward that vision every day. (check the pot!)
Share that vision with others. (They just might help make it happen.)
But the lesson got even greater 20 years later. I was visiting the Roese family again. I was approximately 36 years old at the time. I went to their house on Long Island. We were all in the backyard hanging out one sunny summer afternoon. Stacey was sitting next to me and I said: “Stace- I have question…. Remember the lobsters we caught in Montauk 20 years ago?” He replied: “Yes, I do.” I said: “Truth!! - Did you put those lobster in the pot? Or did the shoot really break?” He looked me square in eyes and he said, with the sweetest, proudest smile: “I did, kid.”
I will never forget that gesture of love that day. The kindest act of love - making someone else’s dream come true, anonymously. Still to this day, Stacey is one of the souls on this earth that is doing kind, anonymous gestures for others. It is just the kind of guy he chooses to be - an angel on earth.
Best Lesson learned from Stacey, 20 years later: Be love to another; be someones angel, it is the greatest gift you can give them. Thanks Stac!
