What’s My Part?
My daughter was 2.5 years old when we put her in a Montessori school in Austin, TX. After a few months, she came talking about going to the ‘peace table.’ She explained to me that it is where you go to ‘work things out'.’ Not really understanding, I asked the teacher what she was referring to.
The teacher explained to me that when 2 or more kids have a conflict, they sit down at the peace table and use the ‘peace flower’ to have a conversation to work out the conflict. And who ever is holding the flower gets to talk, then they pass the flower to the other child at the table and they listen. They each answer the question: What’s My Part? (in the conflict)?
This was miraculous to me! So simple, my daughter, now 16 years old, and we still use this skill and tool today. In a conflict as a parent, I still have my part. I get frustrated. I have a tone. I may be multi-tasking and not listening at my best or I made a decision too quickly or as she gets older I did not ask her opinion when she felt she deserved input, etc. Some parents think that as parents we dont have a part in a conflict with our kids, but the truth is - we do! Own it! This teaches THEM to OWN IT!
Using this skill and tool from an early age has made parenting so much easier. She completely owns her part in conflicts - so quickly!
What if we could ALL do this? What would the world be like?! Think about our work places and how we could solve problems and issues so much more quickly if we each owned our part and we had a work culture that encouraged us to own our part. What if We checked our egos at the door, and faced the truth, we screw up but as long as we take responsibility for it, learn from it and move on swiftly, life is so much easier. Our work places would be so much more enjoyable.
This is the beginning of changing the culture in the work place as well as our homes.
Try it! Next time you are in a conflict, you start, own your part… check out the impact on the person you are having conflict with. If he/she will never own their part, you’ve got a problem - run! But if they are open to exploring their part after you owned yours, work it out, it will be worth it!
